Happy Holidays?

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa,  or if you're simply just living during the holidays, it can be a struggle.

Being freshly eighteen, I grew up and still am growing up with the stress of the holidays. Personally I celebrate Christmas; the buzzle of buying gifts, picking out the perfect tree, decorating the bushes and home, and having to throw out all of my items in order for my mom to have a pristine household even though we spend Christmas Eve and now Christmas Day else where. On top of all of the pressure each individual has around this time there's the eating disorder.

I titled this post "Happy Holidays?" because for those who are battling an eating disorder not only do we have to make sure that our halls are decked and gifts are wrapped, but the pressure of meals, holiday goodies and favorites, finding an outfit that will make us feel comfortable, then the fact of seeing other people. Oh, and if you're like me, you get cold; a lot. If you're cold like me but love snow, you may also have a hard time enjoying the season.

This post features some tips, just like my Coping Skills post, in hopes to help those get through the holiday season with little to no anxiety or set backs. Instead, wanting to prolong the season and spend it with loved ones, comfortably.

Tip #1; Set Goals 

By this  I mean set goals that don't relate to your disorder. Instead of setting goals that enables your behaviors such as restricting, isolating.. Try setting healthy goals. Maybe you're going to a family party and you haven't seen this cousin that you loved growing up with in a really long time, set a goal to talk to them and reconnect.  Maybe you can set goals that give back to the community; donate clothing or toys to a local charity. 

Tip #2; Avoid Overbooking

Sales, shopping, crowded streets... This holiday season try to cut down on some unnecessary events, no this does not mean isolate yourself or have time to work on your behaviors, it simply means people with eating disorders tend to act on their behaviors when under an extreme amount of stress. Spend less time with a busy schedule and more time on working on your recovery; try watching a holiday special!

Tip #3; Talk to a Loved One

Have that one, or multiple, people you can use as support. It maybe a family member or friend. Whoever you're spending the holidays with should know your triggers and how they can support you during these hard times.

Tip #4; Traditions

There's always those triggering traditions; baking cookies, gingerbread house, hot chocolate, egg nog... but there are also other traditions that come with this season; holiday films, music, sleigh rides... try to focus and get your family or friends to come and join you, for you still can enjoy the season without having to worry about little things.

Tip #5; It's Okay

Keep telling yourself this. It's Okay to indulge in the Christmas Cookies or a cup of rich hot chocolate. It's Okay to see your loved ones. It's Okay to feel lazy and watch movies all day. It's Okay to feel uncomfortable. It's Okay to feel scared. But it's this time that we need to focus on what matters; love. It's Okay to challenge yourself. It's Okay to share love - espically, It's Okay to love YOURSELF!

Tip #6;  Mindful

Try to stay mindful. Enjoy the present. Who has time to worry? Especially worry for the future. You write your own future, make it the right one. If you want to enjoy a cookie, then enjoy it, it's the present. Don't look at the cookie and think "I can't eat that, it'll make me gain weight" or "It'll lead to a binge", because personally, I've had these thoughts, but staying mindful, being distracted as I eat, I over come the Cookie Crumble and end up forgetting about the treat within minutes. Guess what else happened? I didn't regret it as much as I thought.

Play games, talk to loved ones, laugh, sing...

Tip #7; Remember What The Holidays Are About

The holidays are about family, loved ones, warmth, joy... Keep that in mind. Don't allow your eating disorder to control your holidays. Enjoy the time that you have with the ones around you. Take the time to smell the sweet aromas of pine and mint. Try to thank yourself for what you are able to do. Thank your loved ones for being with you. Count the smiles, laughs, hugs and kisses instead of calories. The only number that matters here is not what's on the scale, not the number of gifts under the tree, the number of times the dreidel spins, but the number of blessings and grattitude you have.

For those spending the season with a brave hearted battler, please keep these in mind;

#1; Do Not Make Comments About Food 

All discussion about food are off the table, literally, for this. Don't Fork up this holiday and ruin a good time by mentioning what meal you're having, cooking... Especially don't mention what the other person is eating. 

#2 ; Do Not Make Comments On Looks

When seeing family, friends who you haven't seen all year it's common to compliment someone's look. Whether it's a haircut, outfit, body; this is a no-no. Mentioning or highlighting a feature can be very triggering to a patient. For example, "I love your hair", one might think "what's wrong with my hair?" "Why are the noticing that?" "They only love my hair, what's wrong with the rest of me?" Instead try highlighting their personality or traits, like, "I loved that Facebook post the other day. You're really funny!"

#3 ; Do Not Be Overbearing 

The last thing anyone wants is someone to be consgantly over their shoulder watching their every move. If you are concerned about a loved ones health, mood, actions, simply offer support. Ask how they are doing, if they'd like to play a game or look at photos. By being ontop of someone and monitoring them you can make them feel insecure, claustrophobic, overwhelmed {...} which may enable them to use behaviors. The best is to offer support, in a non-judgemental way. Sometimes people need there space, if your loved one is needing space and is trustworthy alone -meaning no behaviors will be used- allow them to take some deep breaths.

#4 ; Do Not Make Their Recovery/Disorder The Focus

It's easy to say that you are proud of what they have achieved so far, it's a hard and difficult process. It's also a process that some may feel uncomfortable about. Personally it took me four months to even tell my best friend why I was in the hospital. She thought I was away for some "blood issues" and then that I had just moved into my grandparents and wouldn't be around.  When making a point of how proud you are, talk to your loved one first. Ask if they are okay with you making a comment or statement to others. Don't just blurt out their recovery or progress.

#5 ; Do Not Mention Numbers, Diets...

I think this is an obvious one. 

#6 ; Keep Up the Positivity! 

Be their own personal cheerleader. It's okay if they are struggling, it's expected. Just hold their hand, try your best to comfort them. You don't even have to say anything, just let them know you're there! 

Happy Kwanzaa!

Merry Christmas!

Happy Hanukkah! 

And A Happy New Year!

Peace, Chaos and Good Vibes!

-Lindsey C

Hoping and Coping

Good Morning or Afternoon or Evening - depending on when you are reading this!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Coping {insert cheers and applause here} !

Before I get started I would like to just to make it clear that this is a list of coping skills that  I find helpful. Now remember, everyone is different, just because it works for me does not guarantee magic for you.  I do encourage anyone who is open to it  and medically cleared to do so, for certain activities } to try one or more of the following activities. Also, please feel free to share your own Coping Skills!

1. Music

Stevie Wonder says it all in his classic Sir Duke when he sang, "Music is a world within itself...".
Music has the power to transport its listener to a whole other universe. A place where tempo and rhythm can either fuel us to make us feel unstoppable, or instruments that allow us to unleash our inner feelings and release everything we have built up. It's poetry that describes everyday situations, or just a story of anything! That's the great thing about music, it can be about anything, but everything all in one!
Did you know however that whether you're listening to an upbeat classic or a heart wrenching solo music releases endorphin's in our brain, automatically releasing a happy, pleasure feeling .
There have been numerous studies to back this theory up; music makes us feel. In fact, it links all the way back to the Egyptians, where chant therapy were common as a healing process. Today, music is always being played at parties, to simply "lighten the mood". But listening isn't the only way that music can boost your dopamine levels, try playing an instrument! By playing an instrument you not only will increase your knowledge and curiosity but your mind will be preoccupied by the music that you would hardly be thinking about your eating disorder!

2. Yoga

If you are medically stable try some simple stretching with light yoga. Yoga has helped me dramatically throughout my recovery;  It was something that I loved to do before I was placed into inpatient and something I still love today. Yoga is a way to relax, find inner peace and harmony, easy, and a great way to find balance.  Light a candle - make sure you place it in a safe place! , have yourself a nice beverage - if your dietitian will allow you to have tea, try some herbal tea or a choice of your own; Sipping on hot water can also make the tea illusion. While doing yoga, don't push your limits, do whatever is comfortable for you. So be Down(ward) Dog with Yoga;  Namaste.

3. Meditation

Just like yoga, meditation can help find balance, inner light, peace, and harmony. Sit yourself in a position that's comfortable; I like to cross my legs in an Indian style and rest my hands, palm up, on my knees. Take slow, deep breaths. This is a Mindfulness practice, for those familiar with Dialect Behavioral Therapy {DBT}- take your time. This is your time to relax, stand tall, and breath. It is best to find a soft,  quiet place and simply try to clear your head of everything. If a thought pops in, it's just a thought, release it and continue.

I like to start my meditation by saying little mantras such as "Om Shanti" - the mantra of peace, and keep repeating the words, softer and softer, with the flow of my breath until I am completely mesmerized and in silence. 

Meditation is an ancient practice that has proven to release stress in ones life, find a calming state, and hopefully create a high effect.

4. Hang out with a Furry Friend

If you have a pet, such as my little pug, hang out with them. Hold them, cuddle them, kiss them. They haven't judged or looked at you the wrong way have they? That's the great thing about animals; they don't care what you look like or what you so, they love you anyways. This love should be returned. 

Studies have shown that patients suffering from both mental and physical illness are most happy during Animal Therapy sessions {not to mention music therapy as well}! 

If you do not have a pet, try holding a childhood stuffed animal or even visit a local animal shelter -they'd love to see you! 

5. Journal or Write

When I was in treatment I went through three notebooks, journaling my everyday experiences. Journaling and writing is a great way to release your thoughts and emotions with the intentions that it can be private. Try keeping a diary, making lists of things you like, write letters... The options are endless! 

6. Colour

You're never too old to colour! While in treatment Colouring became a craze, just like how smoking was the cool thing to do in the day; everyone was doing it! Colored pencils and crayons were everywhere!  

Coloring is anything Mindful activity that allows one to take a step back from what's going on and take time to focus on something else, un-treatment related. So next time you're in a stressful situation, colour. 

This is a great tip at most restaurants as well. More often than not restaurants have a children's menu that consist of crayons and coloring pages or activities. People with eating disorders can find going out a bit of a challenge. If you are above the age of 12, you can still ask for a Colouring page and some crayons to keep you distracted; I'd be shocked if the  host say no. 

7. Go for a Drive

Take that furry friend if yours or maybe your best friend, someone who understands; maybe it's even your favorite CD, and take a ride. Driving is an easy task that can just ease your mind. Maybe okay some driving games. But always be responsible. If you are tired, distracted easily while driving, under the influence,  or in a frantic or wound up, please do not get behind the wheel! And if you're reading this while driving, put the phone down!

8. Art

Get creative! Splash a little colour into this dull and dark disease! Art is a way to express yourself, a simple brush stroke can mean nothing to someone, but to you could mean the world. Do fun activities with art as well, if you are cleared and aren't one to self harm, take art to new heights! My aunt, twin and I once filled balloons with paint, taped them to a canvas and popped them with safety pins and needles; we've also done human spin art - that was interesting.
Art can be very therapetic, colors and forms, shapes and lines, can all represent so much and make an impact. Sit down, relax and simply have an art night! Take time to create, be you, express you!

9. Read

Dive into a good book. Transport yourself into a new world or widen your horizons with some history or memoirs. Reading is not only relaxing but can reduce stress level tremendously, improve sleep if done before bed, strengthen the mind, and is extremely distracting!

I love reading books on meditation, yoga, autobiographies of my favorite musicians, and about others success stories; what about you?

10. Watch a Movie

Ah, yes. Grab a blanket, grab your dog, and watch something that interest you; that won't trigger you!
I recommend anything Disney, documentaries, Will Ferrell , Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Martin Short films. Watch something that'll allow you to either laugh or let out a good cry, maybe even get sucked into with interest.

11. Find The Kid In You

Blow bubbles, play with dolls, grab a yo yo, play gold fish. Do Something that you use to enjoy!

12. Play Games

If there's one thing that I learned from my treatment it's how important games are! When my family would come to visit they learned to bring things like Mancala to fill our visit with laughter and games instead of the early ones of me in tears. Also, playing games at meals and snacks were extremely beneficial!  Try to get your friends and family along to play games such as Contact {Directions here }, The Movie Game, or even simple card games. However, don't use these meal games as an excuse not to eat; you need your nutrition. Without it, how are you going to play!?

13. Challenge Yourself

Alright, I don't recommend this to everyone; when you're ready.  I have always had a passion for food and cooking; always being in the kitchen. Throughout my recovery journey I found it more and more uncomfortable to be around food, in fear of eating and enjoying it, or simply eating and eating too much. Taking little steps, such as going to the grocery store with my dad {go with a support}, cooking my own meals {make sure to follow meal plan and start with comfortable dishes}, eating with a support who will understand and feel open to any difficulties you have ...

It may be hard at first, I promise it will get better. Baby steps. If this step is too overwhelming please skip it.

14. For Every Negative There's A Positive 

For every negative statement you make about yourself, give yourself three positives. You may think "I don't like the way this looks on me, but... I'm a good painter. I am very helpful. I sleep good.."

Give yourself little affirmations and appreciate who you are. Appreciate your body, it does allow you to see the beauty in the world doesn't it? Don't hate your legs, they help you walk. Don't hate your butt, without it - well you know...


I hope these help at least a little for some.  I would love to hear what your coping skills are!
As always, I am here for support.
Peace Chaos and Good Vibes
-Lindsey